BULIMIA SESSION
It was the height of Summer in Perth and wa a stinking 39 degrees. My air conditioner ran out of coolant the night before and no one was available to fix it till the following week. I rang to let my client know and she was fine with it. She asked if I would mind if she brought 8 tupperwares of food to leave in my fridge, for dinner. As I placed her 10″ x 6″ containers in my fridge, I noticed one clearly marked “Brown Sugar.”
I was surprised when she turned up, dressed to the nines. All made up, nails polished, with high heels and stockings (who wears stockings in Summer?) in a smart powered suit, even though she was on leave. And here I was in my bohemian strapless short dress, barefoot, trying my best to stay cool at 1 p.m.
I should have realised something was amiss.
She’s in her 40’s, a, partner, in an international firm, based overseas. Since the age of 15, she’s been on a roller coaster of over eating, bingeing, sugar and alcohol addiction, food obsession, purging, dieting, fasting, starving. She’s been on retreats, workshops, one on one mentoring, seen psychologists and shrinks, AA, Food Addicts programs. Nothing has worked. She’s very much in her head, a perfectionist and not yet on her spiritual path. Apart from bulimia, she has multiple emotional and physical health issues, including chronic depression. She was “losing it” and petrified she’d lose her job being in line for a Senior Partner’s position. Married with 2 young children below 5. Her husband has refused to allow her to leave her profession. A lot was at stake.
I spent a record 4 and half hours setting the stage, explaining the bigger picture, preparing her for the session. We didn’t end till 8.40 p.m.
PAST LIFE
She found herself as a man in his 20’s, in rags. Being chased by a group of men. “Don’t know why…my heart is beating so hard and fast.”
He’s captured, a sack placed over his head and locked up in a “cell like cabin. I can’t leave.”
I asked him to go back in time to find out why he was being chased. “I was trying to steal a cow, for money.”
Moving forward to the end of that scene, “They open the door to my cell. I am old now. I have a long grey beard. I’m angry…bitter..my hands are all gnarly. I’m angry. I’ve wasted my life.”
He lives out what’s left of his life, rummaging in bins for food, “can’t work, I’m lost, scrounging,…broken… I never found the girl again.”
SUBCONSCIOUS
Q: Why di you show her that past life?
SC: He is the man in that life. He’s the reason she mustn’t waste her life.
Q: Is she wasting her life?
SC: Her life is falling apart like sand through her hands. She doesn’t move. She’s very stuck.
Q: What’s keeping her stuck?
SC: It’s known. It’s already known. Her job. Her life. Her status quo. She knows how they are. She has a comfortable existence.
Q: What’s wrong with a comfortable existence?
SC: She hates her job. She hates her life. She hates herself. It’s eating her soul. She needs to be free. She wants to be artistic but she thinks she’s not. She has a gift. She can help people.
Q; In what way?
SC: First she has to go on her own journey, then she’ll find it.
Q: How does she go on her own journey?
SC: To let go, she has to dance, explore other things, other ways – non -conventional.
The SC advised her to work for only another year and then resign. They wanted her to work only to save enough money to live on, while she was transitioning to finding her true gift and purpose. I pushed the SC but They weren’t going to let on about what she would be doing after her current job. They asked her to let go of the fear and have the courage to speak her truth. To firmly remind her husband (who has, so far, said quitting her profession was not negotiable). To tell him that that was what she was going to do ,whether he liked it or not. “She has to make it very clear that she’s quitting, even if he’s not happy.”
They said he would object vehemently but she had to do this or she would stay stuck. This was a repeating theme from past lives, not just the one she was shown. “She has to be free of tethers. Things that anchor and suck her down. Stability is like the prison the man was in, with the 4 walls around but he wasn’t able to leave. He wasn’t free. They also acknowledged that she was very afraid to quit her job not knowing what she would be doing next or if it would bring an income.
SC: She’s not used to this. She keeps scrambling for something safe. There’s no Plan B. It’s gonna be so hard.
Q: Are you saying that? Or is she saying that?
SC: She is and We are.
Q: What can you tell her so it will be easier for her?
SC: Start small.
Q: What is the 1st small step?
SC: Listen to all sorts of music. New age, light happy music. Her friend gave her a CD recently. That was a hint. Music brings her joy. She has cut herself off from music, from joy.
Q: What is the next small step?
SC: She must continue to meditate as you have shown her, regularly. I’ll show her more. She needs to do this daily until she goes deep. Very deep. She needs to trust herself. When she seeks external guidance she’ll lose Me. She has to trust herself. It’s her journey not anybody else’s. It will not be easy. There will be pain. Nobody can guide her. No one has been there before. The meditation helps her know herself. Write down what she sees and receives. She must journal a lot.
Q: You said, if she seeks external guidance, she’ll lose you. Who are you Sub-Conscious?
SC: I am her inner knowing.
Q: Does she trust you?
SC: Not sure.
Q: So of she’s not sure, how is she going to trust what you are saying to her?
SC: She has to grow the relationship till she knows Me more and more. Then she’ll listen and take one step and feel lighter and happier and then she’ll know and have the courage to trust Me and take one more step. Just like that. Like pearls in a chain, one after another. Threading one after another, makes a circle. It’s a circle.
It’s round and soft, accepting and fluid and much more touchy, feely than she’s found acceptable
Q: What will happen if she doesn’t do it and doesn’t listen?
SC: It will just be grey and dark when her soul gets eaten away. What she knows, she’ll never honour. She will always be stuck in those 4 walls of her mind that is her prison. Her cage. She knows but doesn’t have the courage. She knows her Spirit wants to be free and is learning it’s not another safe office job.
Q: What can she expect and hope for if she does journey as you suggest?
SC: She might not have wealth but will have freedom. She will have joy to pass on to her children. There will be a lot of light in her life. She will actually get younger. She’s hungry for freedom.
The SC suggested she buy rural land and some animals and invite her father to help her on the farm. “ He won’t like it and will think she’s a hippie but he’ll come. The land will heal their relationship and bring him closer to the grandchildren.”
Q: Will you help her take that leap of faith?
SC: She has to trust Me. She has to continue the meditation or she will lose me and get back into her head. You have to help her as you have helped many others. You know what to do. She won’t be able to jump if you don’t help her.
**Note: The SC is referring to other healing modalities (eg Holographic healing and Emotional collapse processes) that I use to help clients get across the finish line.
BULIMIA
Q: What’s caused her bulimia?
SC: It’s a black cross on her heart. It is very heavy like a stone.
Q: A black cross? How did it get there?
SC: She was born that way.
Q: What do you mean?
SC: She carried it…brought it in with her.
Q: From where?
SC: From the other world.
Q: What other world?
SC: The Light.
Q: If she came from the Light why would she bring in a black cross? What is the purpose? Why would anyone want to do this?
SC: It’s her burden to bear. It’s her cross.
Q: Why?
SC: The knowings and understandings that she can have in her brain when it’s enlightened, is too much, so the obsession with food, is the distraction of the cross, that keeps her in the cave. She didn’t learn that lesson as that old man. So she gets another cage. Another prison.
It’s internal. It’s all the things she’s never talked and shared with other people. SHE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN ALL THIS HOCUS POCUS STUFF BUT SHE CAME ANYWAY, BECAUSE NOTHING HAS WORKED!!! She wasn’t going to share any of this with you when she came..but she listened to your story. You won her trust. She realised it was now or never.
Q: Is this going to work for her?
SC: She has to smash the cage.
Q: How?
SC: She has to melt it. It’s made of metal.
Q: How can she melt the metal cage?
SC: With passion. Like a furnace if she chooses it. If she believes in what she sees. When she chases what she sees and believes, then she connects with the Universe.
Q: How?
SC: Has to be single minded in purpose and always focus on her passion. Her passion will melt the cage.
Q: Will you help her melt the cage?
SC: She has to explore the greater consciousness…more meditation, dance with her eyes and listen to the music, more and more. If she does those things, I’ll guide her. I’ll give her signs and ideas and maps. if she doesn’t seek the knowledge of the other consciousness, then she’s stuck in the confines of her mind and will STAY STUCK. IT’S ALL IN HER MIND.
I kept asking the SC to help her but They kept pushing the buck back to her. Eventually, I begged the SC to help her and They said:
HEART HEALING
SC: We need to heal her heart.
Q: How will you do that?
SC: You need to help her heal her heart and start on her healing.
Q: How do you wish me to do this?
SC: You know what to do.
( I didn’t know but asked my guides. I asked her to breathe in Source White/Gold Light thro her Crown into her throat and heart to heal it. Then I asked her to imagine the Light getting bigger and brighter like a glowing ball of Light. Clearing all fear and negativity, hurt, pain and suffering, soothing and healing her physical heart and heart chakra front and back. Forgiving everyone in her life and then forgiving herself. Returning her to a place of peace and love
Then I asked her to imagine the ball burning like a raging furnace with flames, even more brightly and fiercely. Melting the cage of her heart and mind. Turning into a fiery ball of red/orange molten lava flowing out, and rolling away from her, over a cliff and into the ocean, sinking down to the ocean floor.
The SC said the healing wasn’t complete but this was the beginning and “She has to do the work.”
HEALING BULIMIA
SC: It will get less and less. She mustn’t judge it. The more she is true to herself, the quicker it will go. By turning the volume down. She needs to be away from her desk. She can’t work in her mind. Get out of her head. Just re-connect to the body…the ocean. Go to the ocean. You need to show her, teach her how to breathe, ground, connect with her body. Share with her the RIGHT SPACE meditation channelled through your Akashic Records.
Q: Why is she afraid to be enlightened?
SC: It’s not acceptable. Father’s programming (her father scorns and ridicules all things spiritual. He’s bad tempered, domineering, manipulative, judgmental, critical, demanding, has high expectations of her). She is too much in her male energy.
Q: Will you help her find balance with her Divine feminine?
SC: Yes. New programs have to be put in. (Client experiences “scraping all around the skull.”). Sian will give her something to replace it.
Q: What are you referring to?
SC: Change. Re-frame. New ideas.
Q: How would you like me to do this?
SC: 3 sessions minimum … Holographic healing. (Client does not know anything about this other modality).
SC: There are entities in her joints, her knees and elbows, gut, throat, ankles, toes, all her neck, back and shoulders. They are clamped on, biting her. Her joints are like black balls. They need to be popped. Exploded.
** Note: The client knew nothing about these things and I never spoke about entities to her. The SC introduced this topic as it often does in some sessions.
Q: Where did they come from and how did they get into her?
SC: Density, fear, negativity. Her darkness. They came in the darkness. Her energy field has been cracked wide open. She’s an open invitation.
Q: Will you remove them?
SC: We are doing this for her now. There are locks on her chakras, front and back of her neck, left upper back, throat.
Q: What is the effect of these locks on her?
SC: They lock the chakra. She is not able to speak her truth. There’s also a Gargoyle in her throat.
Q: Her throat is always sore and she needs to clear it often.
SC: I am healing all the cells around the throat. Her throat is done.
Client: They are clinging to my shoulders,like clamps on both sides (indicating). It’s very tight and there’s something on my back stuck there like suction cups. GET THEM OFF ME!!!
SC: I have cleared them now. Her brain is wilted.
Q: What do you mean?
SC: It’s fried.
Q: How did it get this way?
SC: Too many synapses fried. Disconnected. Too much stimulus…everything…over exposure, her work, drugs (she used to take marijuana, cocaine etc) and sugar. She can’t focus. She doesn’t like all of it. Of course, she wants to run.
Client: How do I clear the ones on my shoulders?
SC: I’ve pulled them off her now. Their dead bodies off. There’s a red mark where the suction pad was. I’m beating them on the ground to make sure they are dead. Others (fragments) may pass out through her ablutions. Don’t worry about the colour – dark matter.
SC: We have to swell her brain.
Q: What do you mean?
SC: Help grow it back. Make it plump and fresh.
Client: Oh, my head’s falling, feeling like its gonna pop. There’s light between the brows, frontal cortex or something. (She finds this funny and starts giggling).
SC: We are now filling her hypothalamus with Light. It will enrich it with health and joy. It will help with her (irregular) periods and sleep (insomnia).
Q: What’s caused her brain to wilt?
SC: The hypothalamus. It’s where the heart lives in the brain. She’s been ignoring it (the heart). It went quiet. The heart and the brain just stopped talking to each other.
Q: Will you help reconnect her heart and brain?
SC: Yes. We are re-connecting the heart. It’s healed. The hypothalamus is rich and red. The equilibrium is coming back to her body. She has to keep a distance. She can’t go into the work. Can’t get involved. It has to be done with amusement. Her son said, “like a dance on this plane.” Keep a laughing distance. If she’s grounded in her meditation, she’ll overeat less and connect with Me more. Needs to meditate more. She has to pull things out of her life. Do less. The meditation will give her focus and mental clarity. Like giving her a new brain.
SC: She’s too much in her head and not in her body. Ungrounded. Not aware of the physical. She’ll be grounded and more present in her body when she does what We told her to do. You need to help her. Quieting the voice in her head may take another 2 years. She cannot be in her head. To be living her truth she has to come from her heart. The difference between obsession and freedom is to live her truth. She knows.
The SC healed many of her other emotional and physical issues. Here are a few:
Q: Lipoma (hard fatty deposit) on her back. What’s caused this?
SC: The animal on her back, the suction cup…shaped like a small tortoise. It came in the darkness of her mind. Dark energy being obstacles in her mind. Shall I dissolve it? (Yes)
Q: Why did it come in?
SC: Serves as a physical reminder that she’s disconnected to her body.
Chronic haemorrhoids. Cause: “trying to hold it all in.”
Reflux, digestive issues, bloating. Cause: ‘When she’s had it up to here…over eating.”
Teeth. Cause: “She thinks it’s the stomach acids dissolving her teeth. It’s not. It’s the grinding at night. Tension and stress.Not to do with job stress. It’s about not being true to herself. She knows.
Upper back tightness. Cause: “The absolutes in her head…the perfectionism.”
Final message from SC: Keep following your Light. It’s ok to be weird.
Sian Chua
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Copyright Sian Chua